Who Said the Heroes Had All the Fun
by 4neveryours89
Summary: An unlikely recruit travels to Skyhold to join the Inquisition. Elf blooded human, Jessamine, has known both hardships and heroes in her lifetime. Though she'd never count herself among the best of them. Not quite a villain, but enough blood has dripped from her small hands for her to know she'd never get them clean. Here's to trying.
1. Chapter 1

Who Said the Heroes Had All the Fun

A Dragon Age Fan Fiction by: Susan Rose

So her leather overcoat was a bit worn and the too large socks soaked in melting snow that seeped through the broken soles of her boots, but still Jessamine trekked on. It was an ideal location if one needed seclusion and time to gather forces against a want-to-be god. She had to give the Inquisition that much, but it certainly was a pain when you were traveling from the Imperium. The young woman couldn't even remember Kirkwall being this cold and she had slept on it's dirtiest streets. She was on a mission however. Though that really wasn't any different than any other day of her life. Luckily enough, Jessa wasn't the only person in Thedas making her way to Skyhold. It was gathering quite a name for itself and people were coming from all over to offer what they could or to simply seek refuge amongst it's rumored stronghold.

She'd already been making her way back to the Free Marches when a letter found her. Varric. He had explained all he could about the strange glowing light in the distant sky and about the gathering forces on both sides of yet another pending war. Jessamine had sighed in frustration even though her old friend had asked nothing of her. It was just an informative letter. One he was probably sending out to all of old his Kirkwall associates and it was only the first of many she would receive as she hiked seemingly all of Thedas, but if Varric Tethras was joining the Inquisition, then she couldn't think of a better place to be as well.

Of course, it wasn't until three weeks after the first letter that she reached Fereldan from a cargo ship she had sneaked on to back in Wycome. In Jader the pilgrimage to Skyhold was large and easy to follow. If not long. Kindness wasn't something Jessamine was accustomed to, but many strangers offered it to her in the days to come. A ride on the back of a caravan or a turn on a mount. Information. Food. The mage and templar rebellion had seemingly died down and trouble wasn't as keen to follow her as it normally would have. There were only a handful of times in the coming weeks that she would have to fight for her life. Peace. Something else she wasn't accustomed to.

When they were close enough to see Skyhold castle in the distance, Jessa broke off from the group of want-to-be soldiers that had most recently offered her their company. If things ended badly, she didn't want them in the crossfire. She already had more blood on her hands than any twenty four year old probably should. No sense in adding to that. No, instead she hiked for two more days alone. Cold and hungry with only a walking stick in her possession. She reached the large main gates just after sunrise on the third day. Whilst her appearance most likely reflected how grimy and grim she felt, the smile she flashed the guards who halted her was absolutely brilliant. And probably a bit more than suspicious. " Fancy meeting a couple handsome gentlemen like you out here", she tried with her most upbeat voice. The guards' eyes narrowed even more. "State your business", the younger of the two demanded. Jessa didn't miss a step. Smile still in tact, she replied. "This is the Inquisition stronghold, yeah? I'd like an audience with the people in charge. A commander Cullen and Sister Nightingale to be precise. Along with the Inquisitor, of course". The guards looked at one another when she started naming names, but didn't budge. Jessamine sighed and held up her hands, turning in place. "I'm unarmed. Just a walking stick. Wasn't so easy to get here, ya know". She normally wouldn't have made herself so vulnerable, exposing her back to a couple of armed guard, but trust was earned with trust. Or so she'd heard. The younger guard seemed to relax a bit, but the older spoke out. His voice rough and all too obviously Fereldan. "And just where might you be coming from, young one? You a vint?", He practically spat the last word, making her pause for the first time. She had known being back in Tevinter had given her skin a bit of a tan, but she never would have guessed that she'd sound as such. Her accent was a muddled mess. Mixed with the various regions she had grown up in. "No. Though, I did some traveling in the Imperium recently". Honesty was honesty. Even if she left out a few things. "Look, I'm half froze and a week without a meal. Please don't turn me away". That seemed to do it for the old guard and he nodded at his companion to step aside. "Leave the walking stick out here on the ground". He was a smarter man than he seemed. Jessamine smiled and dropped the stick, holding her palms up as she passed through the gates.

Skyhold was..more than she had ever even imagined it to be. The walls were both solid and beautiful. Life bustled all around the place and it almost seemed as though she were walking into another world. Not the same world that was currently being torn apart by magic and demons and men with small swords trying to make up for something they lacked. Life here seemed..almost normal at first glance. Almost.

The older guard followed Jessa inside before taking the lead. Summoning another guard over to take his place. "Come. I'll take you to the ambassador. She can decide if you're to be seen. The Inquisitor only just got back from some mission or another". He was helpful, sure, but there was a coldness in the guard's voice that let her know she was not trusted and she was not pitied. One wrong move and that could mean her life. _Noted,_ Jessamine thought to herself. She saw no reason to respond to the man aloud as he was making sure to stay at least three steps ahead of her. He led her upward, to some very large, very heavy doors and inside to Skyhold castle. It had obviously sat abandoned for quite some time before the Inquisition had moved in and they were still making repairs on the hall she was being led down. "How long has the Inquisition been here?", Jessa asked curiously. Not truly expecting a reply. "Just over two months". His voice didn't change and he didn't bother to look back, but at least he had answered. They halted at a door on the left, just before the throne and he held a hand up. "Stay here and I will inform lady Josephine of your presence. Your name?". He looked at her then, but Jessa didn't pause. Giving him the name she used most when claiming to be from Orlais. "Tabitha DuPuis". Cullen would know it was a lie, though hopefully he'd still be curious enough to agree to grant her an audience. "Not sure why you need it. It's likely The Nightingale is already aware of my arrival". She added though the guard didn't falter on his way through the door. "Charming", she mumbled to herself. Standing there awkwardly. There were a few nobles who were staring curiously at her (likely having overheard the name given to the guard), but for the most part she seemed to go largely unnoticed for the entire six minutes that the guard was gone. "Come", he commanded like a dog and Jessa had to remind herself to behave.

She was led through another door that opened up to an empty office and down to yet another large door with yet another corridor and, yes, another door at the end of that. "Talk about defense". Another mumble to herself. Though it did earn her a surprisingly agreeable grunt from the guard. He opened the last door and bowed to whoever stood beyond before backing up and leaving without another word to Jessa. Raising her eyebrow curiously, she watched him go for a second before stepping through the door to the War Room.

The first pair of eyes she met were Leliana's. They were knowing, but warm. A good sign. Jessamine nearly smiled at the older woman before being rudely interrupted by the annoyingly smooth voice of the Inquisition's commander. "Guards! Arrest this woman!". The two guards (who had gone unnoticed on either side of the exit) stepped forward and Jessa began to move into a defensive position. All halted by the soft chuckle of Sister Leliana. "Cullen. Really? Is this the time for such a thing?". The only person who did not look questioningly at their Spymaster was Cassandra Pentaghast. A face Jessamine should have anticipated but did not. Her wide smile returned and she bowed to Cassandra's great annoyance. "Lady Seeker! What a pleasure to see you!". Before the seeker could answer, a man not quite older than Jessa, cleared his throat. "Does anyone want to explain this to me?". The guards stepped back unsure and Jessamine straightened. Once again, she opened her mouth to say something and was interrupted by Cullen. "This girl is a criminal and an _apostate_ ", the Commander spat as he glared at her. "Well, to be fair, you're partially to blame for my apostate status. Though with the circles broken, I don't guess I'm anymore illegal than the next mage", Jessa answered, her perky voice never faltering. "And what of your crimes?", this glare from Cassandra. "I'm sorry, Lady Seeker. You'll have to be more specific. Which crimes? Doing my part to save Kirkwall? Killing slavers who hunted myself and my friend? Trying to save other mages from a fate this man", her anger growing, Jessamine pointed to Cullen, "deemed a necessary evil?". "I never condoned what Merr-", Cullen began but it was Jessamine's turn to interrupt him. "Because ignoring what was happening to the people whose lives were in your hands was so much better than the direct action the Knight Commander was taking". He had no reply to that, but was saved from the embarrassment by his Inquisitor. "Enough! I will hear her out, Cullen. Cassandra". He turned his gaze to the young mage. "Start from the beginning". Jessamine's story started many many years ago and she doubted she had time to tell it all before another crisis popped up, but she was willing to lend them the short version.

"The beginning? There's a lot of beginnings in my story, Lord Inquisitor, but I'll keep it all short and simple for you. My name is Jessamine. Jessa to friends. Mouser to one. I was born to an elven slave in the Imperium, thus earning myself a slave position by default. My father was a human magister and her master. Hence the lack of pointy ears and probably the reason I have magical abilities. Mother died when I was two and he sold me to a mate of his when I was four. Though I won't ruin your dinner by going into details of that decade of my life. It...wasn't pretty. When I was thirteen, I escaped. Killed for the first time. One of the other slaves had taught me how to use daggers. Magic...scares me. I rarely use it. Anyways, I fled to Fereldan and purposefully performed a little trick in front of Templars to earn myself haven at a circle. I was young enough and even smaller than average, so I was able to play it off like it was my first time experiencing magic and they dragged me off to the Kinloch Hold circle as we were closest there. I think they eventually meant to relocate me, but...plans changed".

Jessamine, paused. Trying to shake the memories of the fall of the circle tower. "Because of the blood mage rebellion?", The Inquisitor asked gently and she nodded, about to continue when once again Cullen interrupted. "And don't leave out _your_ part in all that". The inquisitor shot the commander a look that said to let her speak and Jess refrained from rolling her eyes. " _I_ did not have a personal role in the downfall of the circle. I was but a child. There is, however, speculation that Uldred conspired with Tenvinter blood mages. He got what he wanted and they would get what they wanted. Which, turned out to be me. My master wasn't happy that I had fled. Wynne kept us all safe and when the Hero of Fereldan showed up, the kids were able to leave. I...stayed though. I didn't know at the time about the said speculation, but I had seen enough blood magic to think that I could maybe help. Dolan Amell was from the circle tower and we had gotten to know one another briefly before he was recruited into the Gray Wardens" , She glanced up at Leliana, the memories so clearly there in the other's eyes as well, but she gave Jessamine an encouraging nod. " I got as far as the desire demon with them, but was locked out of the room that sent them into the fade. Once Uldred and the demons were defeated, the remaining mages were sent away". She had skipped over some parts. For time's sake and, slightly, for Cullen's. That mess had brought the worse out in the young templar and Jessa didn't know just how much he had shared with his new company. "I was in the last caravan being sent to Denerim when we were overcome . There weren't many others with me, but two more children died that day. Just so I could be recaptured. I spent a total of four more years back under my master's hand. The beatings were worse. So were...other things. Things that I..matured in to. It broke my will. Which, naturally, was his plan. I don't even remember my escape the second time. I just...saw an opportunity and took it. Told myself that it'd be foolish to return to Fereldan. Especially since they'd consider me an apostate if I tried. Who knew that's what I'd end up being in Kirkwall..Anyways, I was there for that mess. If only I'd known what I'd have been getting in to. Spent a good deal of my time in Hawke's company after Anders took me in as an apprentice of sorts. He couldn't get me to use magic much more than the circle mages, but he was a lot nicer than a lot of them and I'm great at potion brewing. Plus..he helped me...control it". Her head hung in shame at the last bit and she found herself staring at her feet. "Control...what?", the Inquisitor asked after it became apparent that Jessa couldn't continue on her own accord. "I...have magical outburst", she admitted. "Because I refused to use my magic, I was basically a walking bomb most days. Anders taught me to control it. To use just enough to quench the need. It still happens sometimes, but only if I'm overly emotional and _that_ hasn't occurred since I left Kirkwall.

"Anyways, you know the stories about Kirkwall by now, I'm sure. I was there. Questioned by Cassandra and the seekers afterwards and then fled before they could decide to arrest me. By the time I left, I had developed...a nice set of skills that helped me track down and...kill all the remaining slavers that had hunted me. My father was killed by Fenris, his pet slave, so I didn't have to worry about him. My master and his group were next. I traveled with the elf for some time as we both had common goals and he's the one who taught me how to truly fight. He would periodically return to wherever Hawke was or Hawke would find us for a bit. It was..nice to see them so in love even after everything that had occurred., but eventually I convinced Fenris to spend more and more time away and continued on my own. I'm told that he does as well from time to time, But..ya know. That gets boring after awhile. So, here I am. Ready to fight demons instead".

Jessa finished, leaning up against the wall. There was only a moment's pause before Cullen, unsurprisingly, refused. "No. Absolutely not. You forget the part where _you helped blow up the chantry_ ". " _Unknowingly_ helped", Jessa protested. Only for the Commander to fire right back. " _Hawke_ refused to help. _He_ knew something was wrong and yet you ignored the warning signs. _You_ distracted the grand cleric without even a question as to _why"._ She glared at the ex-templar. "I was young. I thought I was in love. I thought he was going to save me. Save _all_ the mages. I didn't need anymore reason than that". Grief threatened to buckle her knees, so Jessamine slid to a sitting position on the floor. Cullen had no comeback this time. Letting the Inquisitor ask his own question. "But, you said Cullen was partially to blame for your apostate status. How? He's no more to blame for any of those events than you are". The young mage's brown eyes met Cullen's and this time it was his turn to hang his head. "I...turned her away. She attempted to join Kirkwall's circle when she first arrived, but we ran into one another before she could talk to anyone else and I threatened her. Tried to make her leave Kirkwall. I..was not over what happened at Fereldan's circle and truthfully, I did not want a reminder". He raised his head and met Jessa's eyes once more. "I should have turned you in". That wasn't a surprise. "I'd be dead if you did. Or worse. They'd have made me tranquil the first time I had an outburst". When, he looked away, she knew that Cullen still thought that might have been a better fate for her. Apparently, the Inquisitor knew it too. "Alright...so you know Cullen. And apparently Cassandra interrogated you. How do you know Leliana? From the Hero of Fereldan?" Jess, nodded. "Yes. She was traveling with him during the circle incident. We ran into one another again in Kirkwall and she eventually...offered me leads when I went off on my own". The Inquisitor nodded like all of this made perfect sense to him. "And how'd you know where to find us?". Before Jessamine could answer, the door flung open and in stormed Varric. Bianca in hand. "Inquisitor! Do _not_ arrest that mage!". Unfortunately, flinging the door open had resulted in knocking the young woman in her face and out gushed blood from her broken nose. The cry of outrage was enough to draw the dwarf's attention from the war table to behind the door where Jessamine had been sat. "Oops, sorry Mouser", he smiled sheepishly.


	2. Chapter 2

Her first few days in Skyhold were indeed spent behind bars. The Commander was a stubborn man, even as he aged, and would not hear anything of Jessamine's innocence. The Inquisitor's hands had been tied. What with his Commander's insistence and her own admissions during her tale. Varric and Leliana both tried to be the voice of reason, but to no avail. In fact, by the fifth day in her cell, Jessa was starting to make herself at home. Though it never stopped her from running her mouth to any servant or guard that came to her. This time, she could only hear the muffled footsteps approach. It was during the middle of the night and pretty dark in the cells. She had been half a sleep, but jumped to her feet as she heard the person approaching. "I have done no wrong to the Inquisition!", she yelled out. Not for the first time. "You cannot keep me contained here! Either send me to Kirkwall or The Imperium. Or banish me from your lands, but you can NOT keep me in a cell!". Her voice was horse from yelling so often and refusing to drink much at all, but Jessa was resolute. If they were not going to let her help, then they needed to let her be on her way. "I'm fairly certain Kirkwall would send you right back". A familiar voice answered with a chuckle and Jess paused. "H-Hawke?". Sure enough, Garrett Hawke came into view not a second later carrying a lit torch.

He gave her a smile and a kiss to her forehead through the bars. "Somehow, kid. I wasn't surprised when Varric told me that you've gone and got yourself locked up by the Inquisition". His dark eyes lit up with amusement, but narrowed when he saw that her hands were chained. He turned away from her, addressing someone behind him that Jessa couldn't see. "What's the meaning of the chains?", he demanded, and the Inquisitor stepped forward. "She's a mage. One who has admitted to several murders. Including her own involvement with the Grand Cleric's of Kirkwall. You honestly believed that I wouldn't have her handcuffed?". It was the first time Inquisitor Trevelyan had come to her cell since he first ordered her arrest. She had been too angry at him then and had missed how handsome he actually was. Auburn hair, longer on the top. Stubble, bright blue eyes. No older than his late twenties. Most of the heroes she'd encountered were like this. Young. Attractive. Could have done anything in life and yet they end up trying to save a doomed world. Amell had been her age when he died. Twenty four. He could have had a good life. He was best friends with the future king. He was loved by all his friends and loved the most by Leliana. Instead he gave it all up. All to save Thedas from a blight only to have it flooding with demons ten years later. And they wouldn't even let her try to help. Jessa glared at the Inquisitor until he looked away. "You have the key?", Hawke asked and she turned her gaze to her friend in surprise. "Key?". Trevelyan handed a ring of keys over to Hawke, sticking the correct one out, and stepped back. "When Varric told me you were here, I planned on breaking you out. Funnily enough, I needn't have even tried. Maxwell caught me..snooping around and decided to ask a few questions instead of throwing me in here with you. In the end, he decided you would make a valuable member of the Inquisition", Hawke explained as he held the keys, though Jessamine noticed that he made no move to unlock her cell.

When she gave him a questioning look, he sighed. "When I let you out of here, you'll be an agent of Sister Nightingale's. You will do all she asks of you. Your first orders being to stay far away from Adament Fortress in the coming days". Something was wrong. He was frightened. Hawke was never frightened. "Adament Fortress? Isn't that a Grey Warden base? Garrett? What's going on? Why are you even here? Is Fenris with you?". He ignored her at first and began unlocking her cell. He stepped inside, finding the smaller key for her cuffs and unlocked those as well. He was much taller than she. Most people were, but she looked up into his troubled eyes and waited stubbornly for an answer. With another huff, he finally obliged. After wrapping her in a hug. She reminded him of Bethany. He reminded her of a brother she never had. "There's a lot more going on than just demons falling out of the sky, Jessi. I will explain it all to you later, but first you must accept these orders. Fenris isn't here. I couldn't...allow him to come". Fenris would give his life to protect the man he loved. If Garrett left him behind, then it meant whatever his business with the Inquisition was, it might very well be his last. "I'm...not sure I should be accepting such orders. Not if you're going to this fortress". The chain lock clicked and the cuffs fell to the ground with a clash. "Nightingale will have other orders for you, I'm sure. We'll talk more about my involvement with the Inquisition later. Right now, lets just get out of the cells". It wasn't any type of answer that Jessamine was looking for, but she obliged. Following the Inquisitor and Hawke back up into Skyhold.

The Inquisitor parted with the two as soon as they reached the main hall of Skyhold. Polite enough, but curt and guarded. Curious. "He hates the responsibility he's been given. Imagine that", Garrett answered with a dark chuckle, reading the look on Jessamine's face. "Don't we all", came a new voice with a sigh. The young mage turned to the sound. "Varric", she greeted in a flat tone as she made her way over to a table he sat at. Hawke following. "Mouser", he smiled widely at her. "I'd apologize for hitting you with the door, but those two black eyes you're currently rocking make you look a lot tougher than usual". Both he and Hawke shared in a short laugh as Jessa glared. She had healed her broken nose to the best of her ability during the few minutes they allowed her hands to be unbound, but she hadn't realized her eyes were bruised. "I _always_ look tough", she insisted. Which only sent her two friends in to a fit of laughter. She allowed herself a small smile, though she could feel the bit of tension between them. What exactly had Jess gotten herself into now by coming to the Inquisition? All she had wanted was to slice through some demon guts. "Yeah. Yeah. Laugh away. I'm assuming you've got cards? Let's play while you fill me in".

So, they sat around Varric's table playing Wicked Grace until the early hours of the morning when the rest of the castle began to stir. She had heard their story of Corypheus before though she had not personally tagged along. They had all been a bit weirded out by the experience. Making Jessa glad she had not gone and glad that it had ended before it could truly begin. Except that it had apparently begun anyways. Her heart dropped when Hawke told her that Corypheus was behind the rip in the sky and that they were leaving for Adament Fortress in two days times because his followers were summoning him a demon army. The guilt and responsibility rested heavily on both the dwarf and older mage's shoulders and Jessa could practically hear them wonder what they could have done differently. No wonder he didn't want her there. "You don't have to protect me", she had told him at one point. Hawke had just shook his head and folded the cards in his hand. "You'll need a healer", she had insisted. "They have healers", he had shot back flatly. "I'm good at hiding. I can reach them before they start whatever ritual. I could even go now!". This only earned her an exhausted look from her friend and she sighed. "Fine. Whatever", she had caved on the subject and turned her attention back to the winning cards in her own hand.

Turning down the suggestion of breakfast, an exhausted Jessa asked her friends for a proper place to sleep instead. "You can bunk with me. Hawke is currently and there's only two beds, but he's not staying after Adament unless he needs to. For now, we can take separate sleep shifts or someone can take the floor", Varric stated as he stood from the table and stretched before picking up the card mess from the table. "I'll take the floor if it becomes necessary", Hawke replied as he stood as well, pushing in his chair. Purposefully keeping his head down as strangers began to pass through the hall. Jessamine was tired enough by then that she wasn't going to argue with either of them. "Just show me the way". Varric led them both to what he called his 'humble chambers'. A small room with two single beds on either wall and a washing pot in the middle. "You know, I had a wonder, Varric. Did they give you this room so that Bianca would have her own bed as well?", Hawke asked with a familiar smile and Jessa snorted. "Like he'd ever part with that crossbow. Even in sleep". With a roll of his eyes, Varric picked up his baby from the bed and swung her over his shoulders. Heading to breakfast and allowing the other two time to sleep.

Jessamine was barefoot and dressed in the thin loose cotton clothing they had provided her with when transferring her to the cells. She had no idea where they'd taken the leathers she'd been wearing, but it wasn't like they had been all that special to begin with. They wouldn't have made it through another fight without falling to pieces. And while fighting nude would have been a funny story for later, Jess didn't imagine it would have been all that pleasant of an experience. With a sigh, she made her way over to the washing pot. There was fresh water that that steamed with warmth. Not magical either. Meaning a servant had recently changed it. Or a slave. Was the Inquisitor a slave owning kind of guy? The thought nearly made Jess avoid the pot all together, but she gave in to it's temptation. Not having had a proper wash in weeks. The last one being from a freezing cold spring in the Frostback Mountains. "Keep your eyes off me", she said to Hawke as she removed her shirt. He gave a snort and went back to polishing his staff on the bed. He'd seen it all already. There had been a time that he and Fenris had had to come and rescue her after she'd ignorantly allowed herself to be re-captured by Tevinter slavers. They'd had her near nude and tied to a bed. Her back infected and bleeding from whip lashes. Anders had healed all he could when they had finally made it back to Kirkwall, but the scars were still there. Both literally and figuratively.

She scrubbed her upper body and face with the water from the pot, sighing in contentment as the water slowly turned black from the wash cloth she used. In the mirror above it, Jessamine looked at her reflection. Almost not recognizing herself. Her long curly brown hair was in matted everywhere and her brown eyes were definitely bruised. The baby face that stared back at her was finally that of a woman though. She no longer saw the girl she had been back when she first arrived at Kirkwall. Funny how age just sort of sneaked up on a person. And she had aged hard. Small scars littered her full cheeks and chin. While freckles decorated her small round nose. A result of being in the sun for long periods of time. She sighed and healed her bruises before noticing that Hawke was staring at her back. The scars. He caught her looking at him through the mirror. "That was a bad day", he said with a frown and Jess nodded in agreement. "We had a lot of bad days, Hawke. Sometimes it's hard to remember the good ones". It was his turn to sigh and she frowned. Regretting having brought the conversation to a depressing halt. "Let me wash your hair out". A change in direction and one Jessa welcomed with a nod. She covered her front with the shirt she had removed and sat on a stool that had been in the room. Leaning her head back and allowing her friend to stand and place the end of her long hair in the basin. He washed it out gently. Like a parent would their child's hair. Paying extra attention the the matted places and working them out with the oils provided. They were quiet as he washed her hair and Jessamine was certain she'd dozed off a time or two, but it was still over all too soon. Afterwards, she combed it out with her fingers and twisted it up into her usual high bun. Hawke had gone back to his bed and was just closing his eyes when there was a knock on the door before the Commander walked in. Jessamine had been facing the washing pot and therefore had her back to him as she was in the middle of throwing her shirt back on. Cullen's eyes widened in surprise and she saw him stare unintentionally at her scars before clearing his throat and looking away. "Excuse me, I..I wasn't aware anyone else was in here with you, Hawke. You're..wanted in the War Room". Jess smirked at his discomfort and finished throwing her shirt back on before facing him. "Don't worry, Templar. You missed the party".


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of her first day as a free person in Skyhold passed in a blur. Jessamine slept for the majority of it and waited until the castle was quiet before she had sneaked into the kitchen for food. Leliana had found her there, chewing on a bread roll. One she nearly choked on when the older woman appeared. Chuckling at Jessa's startled jump. "Do ew mine?", the mage said over a mouth full. Leliana smirked and leaned against a counter top. "Sorry", she replied. Though it didn't sound like she actually meant it. Jessa swallowed the rest of her food. "You don't age. You just get scarier", she said. "I'll take that as a compliment". They stood in silence for a moment, the younger picking at her bread roll. Finally, Leliana spook up. "There are many things you could have told the Inquisitor and you didn't. I am grateful and I believe Cullen was as well. I do admit, however, that your presence here caught us all off guard". Jess chewed on those words for a moment. She didn't think she knew enough of Leliana's secrets for the her to feel grateful that she didn't spill them and Cullen's own crappy decisions should be his own to tell (not that she truly believed he'd ever be grateful to her), but to learn that she'd actually managed to surprise Leliana was...something. "Well, you know me. Where ever there's the most likely chance of death, I'm there!". A look from The Nightingale made her sigh as she tossed the remains of her bread roll into the trash. "Maybe I shouldn't have come. I didn't know there would be as many familiar faces here as there have been, but I wanted to. This doesn't just affect the Inquisition. There's bloody holes in the sky and there's demons falling out of them. As shitty as life has been, I find myself still fighting for it. Crazy, right? I've done some things I'm not proud of, but I thought I could make up for a portion of those if I did my part to help the latest disaster in Thedas". Surprisingly, Leliana's smirk turned into a small smile. "We've all done things we're not proud of. I think you'll make an excellent addition as an agent. If I had thought about it properly, I would have contacted you myself. Thank the Maker for Varric's big mouth".

It was early the next morning that she was given her first assignment. A small job of checking out a suspicious noble. Which meant that she'd be gone for at least a week. Which also meant she'd miss whatever happened at Adament Fortress. Naturally. She left that night after having seen Varric and Hawke off with a large majority of the Inquisition's forces. They looked as though they were marching for war. Which, technically, she supposed they were. It took three days of her own travel to reach the Hinterlands alone and another day before she reached her destination. The West Hills. Jessa had had the opportunity to stop in Redcliffe first, but not only was the place still in shambles after Coryepheus had taken control of the rebel mages there, but the village reminded her more of the past that she so often tried (and failed) to forget. She avoided Redcliffe and made for the forested West Hills with what little remained of her food supplies and bed roll. She was dressed in Inquisition scout armor and equipped with her old silverite daggers that Hawke had presented her with before they parted in Skyhold. "I've been holding on to these. Fenris said you intentionally left them behind after your last...run together. I told him that he was absurd". He had smirked and Jessamine had taken them back gladly. Truthfully, she had left them with Fenris so she would know they were in good hands after she ended her own life. Alas, she had chickened out and had decided to leave the Imperium instead. The place was never good for her. Though that was how she had ended up traveling to The Free Marches weaponless when Varric had first contacted her. The daggers were special. Given to her by the Hero of Fereldan himself the same night the circle had fallen. He had told her about a new art of magic he had learned from an ancient phylactery that allowed him to use weapons with his magic. The young Jessamine had thought him insane until he pulled out a longsword called Spellweaver and showed her. It had been made of Silverite too, thus inspiring the name Spellweaver's Children for Jessa's daggers. Amell had promised to teach her some tricks once his mission was over and the tower rebuilt. The tower had, indeed, been rebuilt in time, but neither he nor Jessa would ever walk its halls again. Instead, Anders had shown her similar magic years later. It was a bit different than Amell's technique and was referred to as Knight-Enchanter in the tomes Anders had read during his time with the Grey Wardens even though he didn't specialize in it himself. Jess never practiced it exclusively anyways. Preferring to use magic only when necessary. She ran her fingers over the hilt of the daggers on her back. They had been through a lot with her and it was fitting that they should be returned. And not for the first time. Somehow, even with slavers and thieves and two faced lovers, Spellweaver's Children always found their way back to Jessamine.

It was dark by the time she had made it to the small village in West Hills. Arl Wulff had contacted the Inquisition when rumors reached his winter manor that a noble family in one of his villages was aiding the Venatori. The man apparently had enough on his own plate with Chasind and Avaar that he thought the Inquisition could handle it instead. There was a small group of soldiers camped a few hours behind Jessamine. It was her job to scout the village and assess the danger before reporting to the others. Simple. Easy. Until you throw in endless rain on top of the already muddy forest terrain. She couldn't move easily enough on the ground for the stealth she needed. After all, if Venatori were truly camping out at a noble's home, they wouldn't be too happy to see an Inquisition agent sneaking around. Lucky for her, the home base for the suspect rested only a few hundred feet from the forest. Leaving her supplies at the base of a tree, Jessamine began her climb. She could navigate the trees better than she could the mud and they provided a good vantage point once she'd managed to sneak to the edge of the forest behind the home. It had been awhile since she had climbed trees but being small and nimble had proven useful for such tasks. As long as she tested a branch before moving to it.

Once she was in the correct tree, Jessa perched on a thick branch and removed her spyglass from her belt. The village was mostly dark expect for the tavern lights and the lights of the home she was looking at. And there was definitely something not quite right about the place. There were several guards walking along the grounds. Too many for a simple noble out in the country. Including one at every window that could be peeked through on the first floor. That in itself told the agent that whatever was going on, was a lot bigger than the arl or her superiors had originally thought. A crow had been following behind her since she had first left Skyhold and Jessamine used him now to send word back to the soldiers to advance. Praying that her signal to the bird was low enough that the guards would either not hear or pass it off as typical forest noises. Either way, the bird took off in the direction of the soldiers and the guards didn't so much as glance into the forest. She was supposed to go back herself. She knew that, but something about the amount of guards told Jessa that she'd likely not make it back. Instead, she waited for an opportunity.

Which occurred about a half an hour later. One guard patrolled the back of the house. The others were out of sight and he eventually got close enough to the forest's edge that Jess was able to drop silently on top of him. He grunted, but she had his head in her hands and snapped his neck before he could even truly register what was going on. A trick Fenris had taught her and one that often times made Jessamine sick. Feeling and hearing the snap was..gross, but she had no time to think on it now. She was on her feet as quickly as she had dropped and made her way to the shadows the house provided. Pulling her daggers out as she ran. Keeping her back against the house, Jess peaked around the corner. Three guards. Each walking toward the back of the house. "Where'd Geoffrey get off to this time?", asked the only female guard. "I don't have a clue, but were about to be relieved. I'm not going to waste more time out in this bloody rain and mud than I have to. Let's grab him and go. Probably taking a leak in the woods". _Correction, that's likely what he was going to do before I took him out_ , thought Jessamine as she pulled her head back. She was out numbered and the guard that hadn't spoken was big. About three times her size. Maybe even half giant. The sound of their footsteps told her that she didn't have a lot of time to think about it however. She pulled a small vial out of her belt and gave it a kiss. She took only a second to remember just where the guards were before she tossed the vial their way. It landed directly in the middle of the group and a thick white fog enveloped them after the glass shattered.

Knowing she only had seconds before they stopped coughing and regained their thoughts, Jessamine ran into the smoke. Her light steps barely registering to her own ears. Let alone the guards. She knew their general direction and used the sounds of coughing to guide her to her target, slashing out at the shadows in the fog. The woman fell with a cry, though her mate before her had had no time for sounds as Jessamine ran up on him first and sliced an X with a leap. Decapitating the guard with a clean cut. After running her blade once more into the second guard to make sure she was dead, Jess turned to find the big guy. Only to be knocked into from the side as he let out a loud war cry. Whatever stealth she had to her advantage was surely to go out the window with this guy fighting. The charge had knocked her onto the ground and had taken the wind right out of her lungs, but Jessa held on to her own weapons. She blinked, trying to regain her own senses as the fog began to clear. Just in time too, as the guard stood above her, greatsword raised and ready to slice down at her. She moved just a second too early for any damage and kicked his knee as hard as she could before scrambling away. The knee buckled but only for an instant and it didn't seem to affect the man much at all. Other than make him more angry. She was up on her feet, daggers in either hand spread out as she crouched, waiting. He lifted his sword once more and began to run toward her. Jessa ran too, sliding down right before his blade made impact and slid between his legs. Twisting as she came back up to sink a dagger into the guard's back. He cried out once more, turning around and flinging his blade wildly. The end sliced through her armor and left a deep cut on her arm, but she had moved quickly enough that it didn't cost her that arm entirely. Her dagger was currently lost though. Still stuck in the back of her enemy. Jessamine frowned but made no move to retrieve her weapon. She still had the one anyways. With a little bit of willpower, her second dagger lit up with flames licking the blade. They danced along her arm, but didn't burn as she glared at the guard, willing him to come at her. He let out a humorless laugh and charged. "An enchanted rune won't stop me!", he shouted and Jessa smirked. "This might", she let the power flood through her and into her dagger. She slashed still feet away from him and the flame lashed out like a whip, striking the large man in the chest. The gash was deep enough to stop him in his tracks and he looked at his wound in surprise. Blood and chunks fell freely from the burned edges of his skin and after another second, he fell first to his knees and then forward to sleep forever.

She needed a minute to will her magic back to her. Tucked safely away before she went to the dead giant man and pulled her dagger out of his back. The commotion she heard heading toward her told Jessa that her cover was blown however and she could only hope that the soldiers she sent word to would be arriving shortly. She ran quickly back to the cover of the shadows as no less than eight guards came into view. Running toward their dead comrades. "Magic and weapons!", one called as they examined the big guy. "There's at least two then. Probably more. Spread out. Search the woods, but stay on your guard". Jessa kept her eyes on the guards, who she was becoming increasingly more sure were a mercenary company, as she crept along the shadows the house provided. She silently cursed herself as she watched a handful break off into the wood. Not only would they find her small bag of supplies, but they'd also end up halting the Inquisition soldiers that were likely making their way through those very woods. Unable to do much of anything in that regard, the young woman scaled the building, careful not to draw attention to her movements as guards fanned out all around her. After a peek up, she noted that there were still guards at the windows. Which meant that there was going to be a big fight even if she managed to get in without being seen by the men outside. The upper floor was her only option and that was going to prove tricky.

With a silent huff, Jessa glanced around, making sure no eyes were trained in her general direction before jumping up just before the window she'd peeked in. She got a foot on its ledge while her hand found a crack in the stone that was just big enough for her fingers. It took her only a minute or two to continue on like that. Finding weak areas in the stone , but it felt like hours and she was paranoid enough that she was sure an arrow was going to pierce her back at any moment. Luckily, it didn't and she managed to reach the second floor window. Which was, as suspected, cleared of a guard. Jessamine couldn't lift the window open whilst barely holding on. Her only choice was to break the glass and hope no one was around. She raised her hand up and willed her magic to her palm. An invisible force from her hand turned the glass into dust before she was able to lift herself up. It was quieter than breaking the glass with her fist, but it still made a bit of noise and Jessa winced as she crouched in the window. There was no guard and the candles were out, but she wasn't quite alone. A woman just a little younger than herself, sat up in a single bed, staring wide eyed at the intruder. "Shit", Jessa whispered to herself before lifting her finger to her lip, trying to tell the woman not to scream. Unfortunately the woman made like she was going to anyways and Jessamine ran over to her quickly, placing a hand over her mouth. She sat on the bed behind the woman so that she could whisper in her ear. "I don't want to kill you, but I will if I have to. Don't scream. If you do, my dagger decorates your pretty neck. Understood?".

The woman was rightly terrified and breathing heavily. Tears fell freely onto Jessa's hand that was covering her mouth but she nodded. "Good," Jessa removed her hand slowly, sticking the point end of one of her daggers to the small of the other woman's back. "Good girl. Now, tell me why you've got a whole mercenary company in your backyard?". The woman shook her head but kept her voice to a whisper. "I don't...I don't entirely know. My uncle hired them after he started working with those..those..strange men". "What strange men?", Jessa asked, losing patience and time. "I don't know!", the woman urgently whispered, apparently hearing the annoyance in Jessa's voice. "They arrived two weeks ago. With red..stuff..coming off them. Some mages and some not. Uncle does his business with them below. In the cellar. Were not to down there and the men are gone! They are! They come, but they never stay. Uncle said some guards were coming to make sure whatever is below is taken care of. We weren't expecting a whole company though! Uncle's been on edge since they arrived. He says he's not sure it's worth the coin anymore", Jessa frowned as the woman talked. The Venatori were likely the 'strange men' this woman described, but that still didn't tell Jessamine what their business was. "I'm with the Inquisition. I'm going to find out what's going on. If you so much as move after I get up, I will kill you". The woman simply nodded and made no moves when Jess moved to the door. "Are there any of them on this floor?", she asked turning back and the woman shook her head. "There shouldn't be. Uncle asked that they stay clear of our sleeping corridors". _Convenient._ Jessa thought. "Where's your Uncle?". "The room next to mine on the left. He...likes to be close". That solidified the decision on what to do with the uncle then. She left the room, the woman laying back down as she did. Jessamine didn't bother telling her that she wouldn't sleep for the rest of the night. She was sure the woman already knew.

The room "right next" to the woman's was actually down the hall a bit more. The nobles lived quite comfortably there and Jessa had to talk herself out of nicking a few items off tables as she walked to the master bedroom. She turned the knob and willed it not to squeak as she pushed it open. All remained quiet, but the nobleman and his wife were already awake. Laying in bed silently as they listened to the commotion outside. The wife's eyes locked on Jessa's and she drew in a breath to scream. Cursing to herself once more, Jessa leaped the few feet to the bed and sliced at the woman's throat with her dagger. She still tried to scream, but no sound escaped. Instead blood bubbled at her lips and spilled forward as the light of life went out in her eyes. Next to her, decorated in his wife's blood spray, the nobleman fumbled and turned as he attempted to flee. Or reach a weapon. Whatever his plan, Jessa wasn't about to let him get very far. She pulled him back on his bed and straddled him. Her blood coated dagger pressed to his throat. "You make a noise to alert the guards and you'll be joining your wife". Terrified the man nodded his understanding. "What's in your cellar?", she asked and he stumbled for an answer. Eyes widening even more. "I..I don't know what you're talking about. If...if you're here for the wine, I can assure you that its not as expensive resold". His hands were pinned beneath Jessa's legs but she could feel him moving them. Trying to get a good enough position to throw her off. She buried her knees painfully into his arms. "I'm talking about your dealings with the venatori, _ser_. You really should treat your wards better. They're usually the first to turn on you when things go down hill". She let that sink in and watched as his face went from fright and confusion to pure anger. "That flaming dirty minx-", she cut him off with a push of her blade to his neck, drawing blood. "Why is it that you men force yourselves on women and they end up being the ones called names for it? Answer my bloody question or I'll just slice your head off here and now". He scold, but eventually replied. "Slaves. They needed people to run their tests on, so that they could figure out what methods work best with their new lyrium. Some of that's down there too". He was snarling, but a cool calm washing over his intruder. Slaves. He was aiding a slave train. Jessamine slit his throat without a second thought. It was only after the nobleman was dead that she really paid attention to what was going on outside. Reinforcements had obviously arrived. It was a battle by then, not a search party. She was just debating on whether or not to join the fray when a soldier barged into the room. They both drew weapons before realizing they were on the same side. He looked passed her to the body's on the bed. "I hope you got something out of them or The Nightingale is going to be pissed". He had a Free Marcher's accent and a cute crooked smile. "Obviously", replied Jessa. "Did I miss the fight?".

The amount of red lyrium in the cellar was a lot more than she had anticipated what with the way the nobleman had described everything and Jessa couldn't help with transporting it back to Skyhold to be destroyed properly. It made her too sick to be near it. That coupled with her exhaustion from the fighting and eventual healing, she was ready to climb between the dead nobles and nap. Her supply pack was recovered for her however and she knew she'd have to stick close to the other soldiers in case they were ambushed for their precious cargo. The rain had stopped and the sun had risen long before the Inquisition left the property. While the garden looked like quite the battlefield, only two of the bodies had been their own men. They'd gotten off lucky and Jessa had healed those that could be. Thankfully, the nobles hadn't had any children. The few servants and the niece, Clara, were given some coin and told to find work elsewhere. As were the slaves. There were only three of them down there. One of them a child no older than twelve. Others had already been transported elsewhere. Clara revealed that she was with child herself and that she had already planned to run away to Denerim to find work. She surprised Jessa with a grateful hug before heading out with the elven maid. With a shake of her head, Jess went off in the opposite direction.

By the time they had made their way back to Skyhold, Jessamine was ready to kneel over. She didn't know how to read or write, but she had one of the other scouts transcribe her report for her before sending it off to Leliana and she headed to her chamber to rest. It was empty. The Inquisition had succeeded at Adament Fortress, but they had yet to arrive back at Skyhold and the fate of her friends were still unknown. She washed quickly from the pot and laid down to rest when a knock came at the door. "Enter", she said exhausted. The Nightingale strolled in. Reports in hand. "You _killed_ Lord Tavin and his wife?", she asked and Jess sat up, noting the other's anger. "Well, yeah. He was a pig and his wife was just as guilty. They deserved torture before death. Really I was merciful". She hadn't asked Clara who fathered her bastard child. She didn't need to. She already knew and that had only validated the nobles' deaths more in her mind. "Merciful? Merciful?! I don't need merciful, Jessamine. I need answers!", Leliana declared, shaking the reports in her hand. "I got everything out of them that we were going to get. You got your red lyrium. You got the smugglers. The slaves were freed. What else could you want or need from them?". Jessa was tired and her own anger was rising. She had done the job. If the Inquisition had wanted it done cleaner, they should have sent somebody else. She had gotten the results they wanted. "Names, for one. Any clues he might have had to the whereabouts of more slavers. Something!", Leliana paced the room briefly before throwing her hands up and walking out. After taking a moment to calm herself, Jess had to admit that she might have screwed up, but there wasn't any way to fix it now. And she definitely wasn't getting the rest she had hoped for. Instead she sighed and pulled on her boots before lacing them up. Leather leggings and a simple cotton shirt already on. It was late and she didn't expect to run into anyone anyways.

She hadn't gotten far on the battlements though before a voice pulled her out of her own head. "Ah, aren't you a curious little thing". She turned to the voice and ended up backing away. The man was so obviously Tevinter that Jessa's reaction was instantaneous and she'd not even thought about it beforehand. He took a step back himself, raising his hands. "Now. Now. Let's not start throwing fireballs at one another. Were on the same side here". Jess narrowed his eyes at him, but kept her distance. "You're with the Inquisition?", she asked and he nodded. "You've nothing to fear from me, my lady". To that, she snorted, though she did relax a bit. "I'm sure I've got a lot to fear from you". "Not tonight. I assure you, I was simply looking for some air. Well, that and to see if the others had returned yet. The soldiers have been arriving back in groups, but The Inquisitor and his immediate company have not been with any of them yet and no one is willing to talk. Honestly, I'm starting to fear the worst". He turned from Jessa at that point, resting his palms on the edge of the wall to lean and look out at the horizon. She let herself relax a bit more. Telling herself that if he was willing to turn his back on her then he really wasn't looking for a fight. "What did you mean? When you said that I'm curious?", she asked. The man turned after a moment. Almost as though he had forgotten Jessa so soon. "Huh? Oh. Yes, the mage that doesn't use magic. Well, I suppose it's not _that_ curious. Apparently a lot of people are afraid of magic outside of the Imperium". He shrugged and turned his attention back to the view. "A lot of people are afraid of magic _in_ the Imperium too. You magisters just overlook that". He sighed deeply at her disgusted tone. " _I_ am not a magister. And they're not all evil slave owners". He turned toward her once more and bowed. Ignoring the fact that she backed up even more. "Dorian of House Pavus. Most recently of Minrathous. Charmed to meet you, Lady Jessamine. I'd take your hand but I fear you'd take that as an insult and attack", he said and Jessa almost smiled. "Yeah. Don't touch me. And I'm not a Lady". Dorian straightened and looked at her curiously. "You look like a fine young lady to me". Jessa might have blushed or perhaps slapped Dorian but for the fact that torch lights in the distance pulled both of their attention away. "Look!", she said excitedly. "They're under the Inquisition banner! It's them!". She started at a run, ignoring his concerned voice. "Jessamine! Wait!". She kept running over the battlements, down the stairs and to the gate.

The small company was still a ways away, so Jessa ran out to greet them. She noticed Varric first and grinned widely, but was stopped before she could reach him. Commander Cullen was ahead of the rest a bit with a couple of his own soldiers. It was his arm that had stopped her mid run and he held her in place. "What the- Cullen! Let me go! I'm not hurting anyone! It's just...you're back! They're back! Let me see!", she was too excited to be rude to the commander, but the look on his face made her pause. Sorrow. Regret. He shook his head at her. "Cullen?", Jessa looked from him back to the group approaching them. The Inquisitor was among them. As was a large Qunari, an elf with no hair and Varric. But then... "Varric? Varric? What's going on? Where's Hawke? It's..It's just like him to leave without a proper goodbye". She said it, but even then she didn't believe it. Varric's face fell and he stopped walking. The Inquisitor nodded to Cullen who let Jessa go. She didn't move at first. She just stared at her old friend. "Varric?", she whispered as she walked slowly to him. His shoulders began to shake and Bianca ended up in the snow. Supporting his weight like a walking stick. "I'm so sorry, Jessi". He was crying now. Something she had never seen before. Jessa stopped walking. "No", she stated firmly and it only made him cry harder. "No!", she screamed. She ran to Varric then and grabbed his shoulders. "No! You look at me! He's fine! Hawke is fine!". She was crying, though she barely registered the fact. "This isn't funny! Worst joke you two have ever played!" She gave a humorless laugh then and Varric's arms went around her. Finally she broke down in sobs. They held one another for several minutes as they sunk to the ground in the snow and sobbed. And then it happened. Her grief was shaking her whole body, but the power was growing inside her. Energy surging. "No..No, Varric. Let go. I have to go". She panicked, trying to pull away. "W-What? You can't leave me too, kid. Please don't", he pleaded. Not understanding. "No. Varric. Not that. Magic. My magic". Her panic raised the surge and both her and Varric's hair began to stick up with static. "Shit. Go. Go!", he released her and Jessa took off away from Skyhold. She feared she wasn't going to make it. She was too close to people. She was going to hurt them. "No. She needs to get away. Far way. In the shadows and out again". The voice sounded as if it were in her head, but a hand reached for hers as they ran and Jessa had a glance of a thin boy in a strange hat before darkness swallowed them. When they reappeared in the snow, Skyhold was a dot in the horizon. "Her pain is too much. Grief and guilt eat at her, but the magic is more. The magic is powerful. The magic scares her". She looked dubiously at her new companion but the power within her was becoming painful and Jessamine fell to her knees and let the grief consume her. Someone nearby screamed so loudly in their grief that it shattered both hearts and eardrums. Only later would she realize it had been her own. Dead. Hawke was dead. Gone. Never coming back. She curled into a fetal position in the snow and cried. Sobs violently shaking her entire body before the power within exploded outwards creating ripples of a powerful energy force that knocked trees over and caused a small avalanche. Unaware of anything other than the pain, Jessa held herself and cried.


End file.
